29 Mar Not giving an inch
Walking, chocolate and Titus. Those are the fixations for me this weekend. It’s not good for man to be alone. And to balance out the craving for a dopamine hit, I’m trying to replace that urgently by doing exercise, getting out the house, eating chocolate and force-reading Titus. No technology. Just the book and a pen.
One thing I am truly glad of is that conscience that screams loudly. That still small voice is there. And it’s so good. It’s knowledge that God is there. And the most terrifying thought isn’t losing my wife, but it’s grieving the Holy Spirt and losing Him. In this second chance I’ve been given, I cannot let sin be my master.
God has done great things for me. And this week I’m continuing to be humble and broken. It’s a low place. Ashes. But there I can find God. That’s the place where I can draw near to Him.
I’m living my day, 6 weeks into an empty house. The isolation is getting to me. But I have to keep clinging on to God, and seeking Him. And not give opportunity for Satan.
At times I’m thinking “I wish I could just have a companion around me” – and I do. I have the Holy comforter and the Friend that sticks closer than a brother. He said He will never leave me nor forsake me. Wife or no wife, I take comfort in that.