Broken Cistern | True Change: Friends
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True Change: Friends

Really I have been incredibly challenged by my focus on being a people pleaser. In this, I have slandered people behind their backs, stirred up gossip and have been two faced. I am guilty of duplicity. I am guilty of not having integrity.

A big learning for 2020 is thinking about relationships and how I don’t work on them. I’m grateful for friends who point out my wrong. Rather than push them away, I really want to change and developed better integrity, trust and faithfulness.

The following are some verses on the topic that speak brightly:


“A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.”(Proverbs 16:28, NLT)

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24, NLT)

Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul. (Proverbs 22:24-25, NLT)

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6, NLT)

Then the Lord asked Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil. And he has maintained his integrity, even though you urged me to harm him without cause.” (Job 2:3, NLT)

See how many enemies I have and how viciously they hate me! Protect me! Rescue my life from them! Do not let me be disgraced, for in you I take refuge. May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in you. (Psalm 25:19-21, NLT)

People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will slip and fall. (Proverbs 10:9, NLT)

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. (Titus 2:7-8, NIV)

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity (two-faced). Proverbs 11:3

The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. Proverbs 12:22

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. Proverbs 20:19

“I will destroy the one who secretly slanders a friend. I will not allow the proud and haughty to prevail. My eyes are looking at the faithful of the land, so they may live with me; The one who lives a life of integrity will serve me.” Psalm 101:5-6 


No point just talking about it. How am I going to change?

  • It’s important that I prioritise a close walk with God.
  • It’s important stop talking. That I remember to stop talking.
  • To stop trying to impress people or win their respect by “knowing things”
  • That I practice holding all conversations and counsel privately.
  • Pray to God that He will help me.