15 Mar When God humbles you
Every wave was hitting me for the past ten days. I had lost my wife and I had lost my job. I had so many other waves smashing against me: difficult finance decisions, family tension, bitterness, temptation, applying for Universal Credit, being unemployed and applying for jobs, spiritual discipleship, loneliness, Coronavirus. It’s been so overwhelming.
I have not had the mental capacity to process this. Disappointments have been crashing against me. I’ve had to prioritise which fire to put out first, whilst not forgetting about them
When I think about what has been happening, it’s simple. God is humbling me. Here’s some verses & quotes I’ve been thinking on:
- No good thing does he withhold to those who walk upright
- Whoever exalts himself will be humbled.
- Give what you cannot keep in this life to gain that which you can never lose.
- Who shall separate us from the love of God?
- Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
And the part of scripture that’s hit me hardest is when I think about king Nebuchadnezzar and how God humbled him massively. He looked around at his kingdom and was proud. He gloated in the fact he had built this empire. And God simply strips that away from him and turns him into a half-crazed animal. And only when Nebuchadnezzar looks upwards to heaven and acknowledges God, does his senses return. God breaks the proud, purges the sinful and smashes the boastful. I’ve been all those 3.
The previous four weeks was a heavenly walk, but then that’s all drained away. All I want is for God to “restore to me the joy of your salvation” – I just want to return to that tranquil feeling of walking with God, being free from sin and having peace. But the raging sea is anything but peaceful. However this quote from Spurgeon is so true :
“I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages”C.H. Spurgeon